1/03/2011

What Makes a Marriage Sustainable? NYT


The Happy Marriage is the 'Me' Marriage
New York Times
Dec. 31, 2010
For centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution, and the emotional and intellectual needs of the spouses were secondary to the survival of the marriage itself. But in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting.
Caryl Rusbult, a researcher at Vrije University in Amsterdam who died last January, called it the “Michelangelo effect,” referring to the manner in which close partners “sculpt” each other in ways that help each of them attain valued goals.
Dr. Aron and Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, have studied how individuals use a relationship to accumulate knowledge and experiences, a process called “self-expansion.” Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship.
To measure this, Dr. Lewandowski developed a series of questions for couples: How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person? (Take the full quiz measuring self-expansion.).....read more at the New York times

Pin It

1/01/2011

Rumi on Fire..1.1.2011

Set your life on fire
seek those who fan the flames
Rumi

Pin It

Tagore on Love


Love's gift cannot be given,
it waits to be accepted.
*

Love does not claim possession,
but gives freedom.
*
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
Tagore



Pin It

Happy New Year!

Pin It