Robert Thurman : OWS


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One Taste Now in L.A.

Nicole Daedone's OM -Orgasmic Meditation coaching is now available in Silver Lake and Santa Monica through Meetup.com



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Alan Watts, Chogyam Trungpa & Ken Wilber

via : Ben Riggs, teacher of Buddhist meditation and spirituality at the Refuge Meditation Group in Shreveport, LA.  http://refugegroupbr.blogspot.com/

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"Ode to a Rescuer", Carol Omer

Written  in 1997 . It is dedicated to the  Women, especially those  who I meet in domestic violence Shelters,  who really do believe:
If I just keep on loving him, he will change & we will have the relationship that I know is possible’...

Ode to a Rescuer…
There was something very appealing about his pain
it matched her Pattern perfectly!
“Give me a damaged man  with potential
and I will embrace him
as my life mission
My personal quest
I will claim myself to be his Rescuer

Through my eyes he will see
how sorely he has been
denied Love

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Happiness Key #1

Figure out what you want
and learn how to ask for it

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Talking About Your Relationship

Those who think that talking about a relationship will help it get better put the cart before the horse.  Work on yourself and a good relationship will follow.  You can either accept who you are and find a relationship that fits, or twist yourself out of shape and get what you deserve.
The endless blather that takes place between two complexed people solves nothing.  It is a waste of time and energy and as often as not actually makes the situation worse.”  (Sharp, Jungian Psychology Unplugged, p. 72)

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Romancing the Dark Side, From Shadow Boxing to Shadow Dancing

Connie Zweig

.......Without our knowing it, the shadow is at work attempting to recreate early childhood relationship patterns with a secret mission -- to heal old wounds and feel loved. We view this inevitable childhood projection as the first stage of romance, a kind of fusion that may feel like living inside of an egg shell, an enclosed form in which the couple feels nurtured and self-contained. Like two chicks in the shell, they feed one another on love, which speeds the growth and development of both. Other friendships may fall away as the partners imagine meeting all of each other's needs and fulfilling all of each other's desires......
Then, one day, inevitably the shell cracks -- and the relationship breaks down. The old rules, often unspoken, which previously provided security ("You are all that I need" or "I pay for everything so we have sex when I want it" or "You carry the feelings for both of us") no longer hold, and the partners face a crisis of commitment. Once the shell has been cracked, it cannot be put back together again. The partners may try, but they have entered a new stage of relationship: they are now too well developed to remain fused. For those who do not know that this is a natural developmental crisis, the relationship will end, and the partners inevitably attempt to recreate the egg shell with the next person. But for those who can negotiate the new rules, which allow for greater individuality and authenticity, the partners can go play in the chicken yard -- a larger psychic space with more room for individuality and clear boundaries -- and yet remain a couple. Then the relationship can begin again....
Without shadow-work, shadow-boxing is inevitable: as the partners reject their disowned qualities in the Other, they get drawn into painful, repetitive fights, inevitably ending up hurt and angry and perhaps separating from each other. In defending against the pain, we also defend against the love. But with shadow-work, a partner may rediscover his or her own rejected traits in the projections and learn to romance them. In this way, the sources of conflict can be viewed as sources of opportunity: the relationship becomes a means to find gold in the dark side both in ourselves and in our partners. As a result, our partner, who felt like an enemy, becomes an ally to our soul. And the relationship deepens.....................................complete excerpt here

This is an excerpt from 'Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Finding Gold in the Dark Side'
Connie Zweig
"Romancing the Shadow enables you to peel away the layers of your soul and get in touch with the purity of Being that lies within you."
--Deepak Chopra
"A consummate and timely work . . . An exciting entry into the growing literature on the dark side of the soul. There is deep wisdom and nourishment here."
--New Age Journal

A few other fab books on working with the shadow:
Meeting the Shadow-collection of 60+ essays edited by Jeremiah Abrams
Inner Gold-Understanding Projection by Robert A. Johnson
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by D. Ford
A Little Book on the Human Shadow by Robert Bly
Meeting the Shadow edited Connie Zweig
Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche by Robert A. Johnson

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How to Find God

If you want to find God, hang out in the space between your thoughts.
Alan Cohen

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Shadow Work and the Great Descent

Fr. David McCallum, S.J. of Boulder Integral with an into to Shadow Work

Boulder Integral

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Patrick Sweeney

Finding a teacher and Buddha family for your particular nature...shadows and all  


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Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

"If you want to sin, sin wholeheartedly and openly. Sins too have their lessons to teach the earnest sinner, as virtues the earnest saint. It is the mixing up of the two that is so disastrous. Nothing can block you so effectively as compromise, for it shows lack of earnestness, without which nothing can be done." -  Sri Nisargadatta Maharj   **** *  *

Since everything is but an apparition, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter. 


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What Makes a Marriage Sustainable? NYT

The Happy Marriage is the 'Me' Marriage
New York Times
Dec. 31, 2010
For centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution, and the emotional and intellectual needs of the spouses were secondary to the survival of the marriage itself. But in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting.
Caryl Rusbult, a researcher at Vrije University in Amsterdam who died last January, called it the “Michelangelo effect,” referring to the manner in which close partners “sculpt” each other in ways that help each of them attain valued goals.
Dr. Aron and Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, have studied how individuals use a relationship to accumulate knowledge and experiences, a process called “self-expansion.” Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship.
To measure this, Dr. Lewandowski developed a series of questions for couples: How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person? (Take the full quiz measuring self-expansion.).....read more at the New York times

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Rumi on Fire..1.1.2011

Set your life on fire
seek those who fan the flames

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Happy New Year!

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