dakini notes

Choose life over the other stuff

2012-01-11T09:23:00.000-08:00

‎"Choose life over the other stuff. Get out of your head. Live. Dress up. Eat. Touch people. Help out. Give up. Love people.
Give your best away. There's more. What's the problem? Relax. You're going to die. Throw a party. Eat off my plate.
Sing to me. Meet me in the bedroom. Get a massage. Give one. Let your amazement out into the room.
Pry open the box you hide your joy in. Be a poem." - John P. Shanley - Amen and onward.

Brian Greene - The Hidden Reality

2012-01-04T19:37:00.000-08:00

Robert Thurman : OWS

2011-11-05T22:04:00.001-07:00

Alan Watts, Chogyam Trungpa & Ken Wilber

2011-07-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

via : Ben Riggs, teacher of Buddhist meditation and spirituality at the Refuge Meditation Group in Shreveport, LA. http://refugegroupbr.blogspot.com/

"Ode to a Rescuer", Carol Omer

2011-07-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

Carol Omer / carolom.wordpress.com

Written in 1997 . It is dedicated to the Women, especially those who I meet in domestic violence Shelters, who really do believe:

‘If I just keep on loving him, he will change & we will have the relationship that I know is possible’...

Ode to a Rescuer…

There was something very appealing about his pain

it matched her Pattern perfectly!

“Give me a damaged man with potential

and I will embrace him

as my life mission

My personal quest

I will claim myself to be his Rescuer

Through my eyes he will see

how sorely he has been

denied Love

And, with the love of this Good Woman, he will heal.

He will heal

****

With the peace of mind that I alone

have brought to him,

delivered to him on a sincere heart that

pulses with conviction

His heart shall finally, after many troubled years

beat with contentment

in symbiotic rhythm with my own

Ahh..this future memory brings tears

to my eyes

and reminds me to be patient and the reward

will come

Of this truth I have created, I am sure.

He will change

***

I shall interpret his moodiness as poetic brooding

his sarcasm as merely the shadow of his enormous

artistic sensitivities

and his broken promises as the unfortunate

repercussions of

a busy, preoccupied man.

I shall deny myself my heart’s desries,

less they place too much of a burden on his already busy mind.

I shall seduce him into security

with words thinly veiled

with the false reassurance that I want nothing of him

After all he is the broken one…

Not me.

*** read complete poem here

I will prove to him that I am the one single woman

on this Earth

who can heal his troubled Soul.

Because I believe in him like no other has in the past

or could possibly at any time in the future….

As the Rescue Program gets under way

I will slowly begin to allow

the duality of the situation to come to the fore

Actually I won’t have a choice.

Having ensnared him with my Rescuers Net

or having fallen into his

I shall wrestle with the duality of being drawn

to his charismatic withdrawals

whilst also experiencing an awakening awareness

that he is indeed

mirroring my own need to heal and rescue

the wounded heart.

In order to ignore the needs of my own hopeful

desperate

optimistic

aching

Heart,

I will plunge into my rescuing role with paradox and passion

for I am drawn to the angst of tortured feelings

which I have misconstrued as Romance and Love

as haplessly as he is drawn to his broody silences and

the acidic observations he casts out

to bait me

every now and then.

And quite regularly at times.

Words that forge our bond like “who else would put up with you or me” and

“we were meant for one another, we are as bad as each other“

will be the hypnotic sound track of the saga

of our co-dependence

***

He will be my co-star as my life unfolds

according to the stories I believe

Stories that I have created

Fictional stories I will defend as

Love

Alas it is a tired old script with no surprises

in the Story whatsoever

but it will take me a long time to understand that

to reinterpret and rewrite the lead roles

because most of this is new to me!

And I am a stranger to myself…

I will need quite some time to realise any of this

as this predictable old Story unfolds

on a roller coaster of drama and desire

yearning and conflict

Those old ‘but I love him” scenarios

and inevitable cycles

replaying themselves

in the guise of Love.

***

Love?

No this is just unlearnt lessons

in re-enactment

I will come to realise this one day

though I do not know that yet of course

Although my heart does skip a beat when he looks at me

in that certain something way

Surely that must be Love?

though you may well think I am making

a banquet from a few crumbs of

moments of hard earnt intimacy

I know this banquet will be rich

in the fruits of my desires

….so long as I am patient

I will be Patient

My mantras give my life meaning

and hope

They really do

Really really they do.

***

In the meantime I will deny that the toxins

of this relationship are

causing me great harm,

souring my naivete & poisoning the sweetness of my illusions

whilst I continue to

defend his lack of friendliness

and warmth

as justified

on account of

the awful things he went through as a child

the unresolved issues

with his difficult father

the conflict with his his troubled mother

There was just so much trouble

that went into creating his

Troubled Life that I share

I am perhaps the only one

who really knows that

and understands him

and Loves him

The only one

The lonely one

Love will conquer all

I think I am sure of that

There is only one fixed rule in

all of this apparent uncertainty

And this is what I have made it to be:

I must Love him no matter how hard he is to Love.

I will Love him unconditionally

I will Love him unconditionally

I will Love him unconditionally

This one rule will make it all wonderful…

One day because

He will open up

***

Ultimately of course I will deny myself

the right to move forward

to reach my fullest potential

because I will be anchored defiantly

to our co-dependence

and staunchly

courageously

desperately

refer to it as

Love!

This is what I know Love to be.

The End.

Lady Gaga, Born This Way

2011-05-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

A budding surrealist

Happiness Key #1

2011-05-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

Figure out what you want

and learn how to ask for it

Talking About Your Relationship

2011-05-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Those who think that talking about a relationship will help it get better put the cart before the horse. Work on yourself and a good relationship will follow. You can either accept who you are and find a relationship that fits, or twist yourself out of shape and get what you deserve.

The endless blather that takes place between two complexed people solves nothing. It is a waste of time and energy and as often as not actually makes the situation worse.” (Sharp, Jungian Psychology Unplugged, p. 72)

Romancing the Dark Side, From Shadow Boxing to Shadow Dancing

2011-03-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

SHADOW-BOXING: WRESTLING WITH ROMANTIC PARTNERS
Connie Zweig
For more information call Connie at 1-800-484-9962 (tone plus 3104)
or Steve at 1-888-myshadow
.......Without our knowing it, the shadow is at work attempting to recreate early childhood relationship patterns with a secret mission -- to heal old wounds and feel loved. We view this inevitable childhood projection as the first stage of romance, a kind of fusion that may feel like living inside of an egg shell, an enclosed form in which the couple feels nurtured and self-contained. Like two chicks in the shell, they feed one another on love, which speeds the growth and development of both. Other friendships may fall away as the partners imagine meeting all of each other's needs and fulfilling all of each other's desires......
Then, one day, inevitably the shell cracks -- and the relationship breaks down. The old rules, often unspoken, which previously provided security ("You are all that I need" or "I pay for everything so we have sex when I want it" or "You carry the feelings for both of us") no longer hold, and the partners face a crisis of commitment. Once the shell has been cracked, it cannot be put back together again. The partners may try, but they have entered a new stage of relationship: they are now too well developed to remain fused. For those who do not know that this is a natural developmental crisis, the relationship will end, and the partners inevitably attempt to recreate the egg shell with the next person. But for those who can negotiate the new rules, which allow for greater individuality and authenticity, the partners can go play in the chicken yard -- a larger psychic space with more room for individuality and clear boundaries -- and yet remain a couple. Then the relationship can begin again....
Without shadow-work, shadow-boxing is inevitable: as the partners reject their disowned qualities in the Other, they get drawn into painful, repetitive fights, inevitably ending up hurt and angry and perhaps separating from each other. In defending against the pain, we also defend against the love. But with shadow-work, a partner may rediscover his or her own rejected traits in the projections and learn to romance them. In this way, the sources of conflict can be viewed as sources of opportunity: the relationship becomes a means to find gold in the dark side both in ourselves and in our partners. As a result, our partner, who felt like an enemy, becomes an ally to our soul. And the relationship deepens.....................................complete excerpt here

This is an excerpt from 'Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Finding Gold in the Dark Side'
Connie Zweig
"Romancing the Shadow enables you to peel away the layers of your soul and get in touch with the purity of Being that lies within you."
--Deepak Chopra
"A consummate and timely work . . . An exciting entry into the growing literature on the dark side of the soul. There is deep wisdom and nourishment here."
--New Age Journal

A few other fab books on working with the shadow:
Meeting the Shadow-collection of 60+ essays edited by Jeremiah Abrams
Inner Gold-Understanding Projection by Robert A. Johnson
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by D. Ford
A Little Book on the Human Shadow by Robert Bly
Meeting the Shadow edited Connie Zweig
Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche by Robert A. Johnson

How to Find God

2011-03-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

If you want to find God, hang out in the space between your thoughts.

Alan Cohen

Shadow Work and the Great Descent

2011-03-05T15:12:00.000-08:00

Fr. David McCallum, S.J. of Boulder Integral with an into to Shadow Work

Boulder Integral

Patrick Sweeney

2011-03-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

Finding a teacher and Buddha family for your particular nature...shadows and all

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

2011-03-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

"If you want to sin, sin wholeheartedly and openly. Sins too have their lessons to teach the earnest sinner, as virtues the earnest saint. It is the mixing up of the two that is so disastrous. Nothing can block you so effectively as compromise, for it shows lack of earnestness, without which nothing can be done." - Sri Nisargadatta Maharj **** * * *

Since everything is but an apparition, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

-Longchenpa*******••

What Makes a Marriage Sustainable? NYT

2011-01-03T14:27:00.000-08:00

The Happy Marriage is the 'Me' Marriage

New York Times

Dec. 31, 2010

For centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution, and the emotional and intellectual needs of the spouses were secondary to the survival of the marriage itself. But in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting.

Caryl Rusbult, a researcher at Vrije University in Amsterdam who died last January, called it the “Michelangelo effect,” referring to the manner in which close partners “sculpt” each other in ways that help each of them attain valued goals.

Dr. Aron and Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, have studied how individuals use a relationship to accumulate knowledge and experiences, a process called “self-expansion.” Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship.

To measure this, Dr. Lewandowski developed a series of questions for couples: How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person? (Take the full quiz measuring self-expansion.).....read more at the New York times

Rumi on Fire..1.1.2011

2011-01-01T21:54:00.000-08:00

Set your life on fire

seek those who fan the flames

Rumi

Tagore on Love

2011-01-01T20:04:00.000-08:00

Love's gift cannot be given,

it waits to be accepted.

Love does not claim possession,

but gives freedom.
*

Love is an endless mystery,

for it has nothing else to explain it.

Tagore

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T00:00:00.001-08:00

Rumi's Gift

2010-12-24T18:40:00.000-08:00

You've no idea how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You.

Nothing seemed right. What's the point of bringing gold

to the gold mine, or water to the Ocean. Everything I came

up with was like taking spices to the Orient. It's no good

giving my heart and my soul because you already have these.

So- I've brought you a mirror. Look at yourself and

remember me.

Rumi

This is Your Brain on Religion at NPR

2010-12-17T13:23:00.000-08:00

NPR Talk of the Nation

Principles of Neurotheology By Andrew B. Newberg

For thousands of years, religion has posed some unanswerable questions: Who are we? What's the meaning of life? What does it mean to be religious?........

Dr. NEWBERG: Well, for a lot of the work that I've been doing over the past two decades has been to utilize brain-imaging studies and to evaluate what's happening in people's brains when they are deep in a spiritual practice, like meditation or prayer.

These are techniques that we've never had before, up until the last 15 or 20 years. And what we can do is actually scan the brain when somebody is in meditation, is in prayer, is in a practice like speaking in tongues or some other type of ecstatic state, and actually compare what's going on in their brain at that point to what is happening in their brain when they're just at rest or perhaps when they're doing some other kind of task, maybe a mathematics task or a relaxation task.

And what we are able to find are the changes in the activity in different parts of the brain, how the different parts of the brain turn on or turn off, depending on the kind of practice and depending on the kind of experiences that they have.

So this has really given us a remarkable window into what it means for people to be religious or spiritual or to do these kinds of practices...........................

And we found some very significant and profound changes in their brain just at rest, particularly in the areas of the brain that help us to focus our mind and to focus our attention.

And in fact, many of the people related to us just subjectively that they felt that they were thinking clearer and that they were able to remember things better. And we had the scans to show us that we actually had changes in their brain in those areas that support those kinds of functions, and we also tested their memory and showed that they had improvements of about 10 or 15 percent in several different memory tasks.

And this is only after eight weeks at 12 minutes a day. So you can imagine what happens in people who are deeply religious and spiritual who are doing these practices for maybe hours a day for years and years and years........listen to the entire 'Neurotheology: This Is Your Brain On Religion' interview at NPR

Seuss Wisdom

2010-12-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird,

and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,

we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness

and call it love.

–Dr Seuss

Are Freedom and Security Phantom Experiences?

2010-11-26T00:30:00.000-08:00

The basics teachings of Buddha

are about understanding what we are, who we are, why we are.

When we begin to realize what we are, who we are, why we are,

then we begin to realize what we are not, who we are not,

why we are not.

We begin to realize that we don’t have basic, substantial, solid, fundamental ground that we can exert anymore.

We begin to realize that our ideas of security and our concept of freedom have been purely phantom experiences

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Zocalo Panel on the Life of Christopher Isherwood

2010-11-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

Thursday December 9, 2010

The Hammer Museum

British writer Christopher Isherwood arrived in Los Angeles after a long, slow bus ride from New York, where he had emigrated with his friend W.H. Auden. After unforgettably chronicling the underworld of interwar Berlin, Isherwood settled into L.A. and its circle of European émigrés, writers, painters, and spiritual seekers - Aldous Huxley, Truman Capote, David Hockney, and Don Bachardy, who would become Isherwood's longtime partner after a chance meeting on Valentine's Day on the beach. Isherwood wrote for Hollywood - and unlike so many novelists, enjoyed it - translated Hindu scripture, hung out at Musso and Frank's, and captured L.A. in some of his most acclaimed works.......more from Zocalo Public Square

The Hammer Museum

10899 Wilshire Boulevard

Los Angeles, CA

Parking is available under the museum. There is a $3 flat rate after 6:00 p.m.

Chasing Yourself, Alan Watts

2010-09-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

Feeling a Little Overstimulated?

2010-07-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

Can we put normal back into our lives?

Harvard Gazette: Deirdre Barrett, assistant clinical professor of psychology in Harvard Medical School’s Psychiatry Department says ‘supernormal stimuli’ drive many unnatural urges.
"Humans living in modern society are something like those lab animals, a Harvard psychology professor says. Like them, our innate instincts are overstimulated by unnatural products, as well as by advertising and images. And, like them, we respond almost unconsciously: reaching for more food, Web-surfing for porn, dumping time and money on “cute” toys, sitting for hours in front of televisions, and sending troops to fight a dehumanized “them.”

The difference between lab animals and us, however, is that overstimulation for animals isn’t present in nature. It can really only be found in the laboratory. If an animal escapes to its natural environment, it will return to natural stimuli and responses. For people, however, because we live in an artificial world of our own making, escaping those stimuli is not so easy.

But Deirdre Barrett, assistant clinical professor of psychology in Harvard Medical School’s Psychiatry Department, says that doesn’t mean there’s no hope for us.

Barrett, author of the new book “Supernormal Stimuli: How Primal Urges Overran Their Evolutionary Purpose,” says the first step is to understand what’s happening to us. Instincts and urges honed for hundreds of thousands of years to keep us alive in a world of scarcity are being subverted in the modern era of plenty. People are bombarded by food that they crave, tempted by seductive images, and urged to buy products designed to appeal to specific wants, regardless of need........

Pornography, she said, subverts instincts intended for mating with people. Stuffed animals, dolls, and cartoon characters manipulate people’s preprogrammed affinity for childlike “cuteness.” She also looks at obesity, war, business, television, and even intellectual pursuits.....more from Harvard Gazette

2010-07-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Albert Ellis

Carter Emmart's 3D Universe

2010-07-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

Ganesha

2010-07-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

2010-07-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

Tina Turner Chants Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

2010-06-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Larry King and Tina Turner

Something New

2010-06-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

What's passed these hands?
All these drugs and one night stands
So I tremble when I think of she'd do
She'd say something like:
"You're no good,
You're like the junkies in this neighbourhood"
We all need a fix, I guess I need one too
But I'm trying madly to calm these nerves
With something new
I got this heavy debt, I've got nothing left
But this daunting weight slung round my neck
You got the callous mouth, all your endless doubts
We spent this fifteen weeks, trying to work it out
Do think we're getting to something new?
Oh God, not another fight
I'm always trying to get the details right
I remember when you told me you felt saved
When you promised you'd lay flowers on my grave
Just like they used to do
Is it something new?
And now here I stand
With these blood soaked hands
On this sleepless night, that never ends
And these songs I sing
With these hopes that I cling to
Desperately wondering
Are we finally getting to something new?
Is it something new?
Are we finally to something new?

Cindy Gallup, Make Love Not Porn

2010-06-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

Balancing the myths of hard core porn with reality.
An open, non judgemental, not anti porn, but pro love,
healthy discussion of hard core porn.

Make Love Not Porn.com
Cindy Gallop:
I would like to stress the following:
MakeLoveNotPorn is not about judgement, or what is good vs what is bad.
Sex is the area of human experience that embraces the widest possible range of tastes.
Everyone should be free to make up their own mind about what they do and don't like.
MakeLoveNotPorn is not anti-porn. I like porn and watch it regularly myself.
MakeLoveNotPorn is simply intended to help inspire and stimulate open,
healthy conversations about sex and pornography,
in order to help inspire and stimulate more open,
healthy and thoroughly enjoyable sexual relationships.
I welcome all feedback and input. You can contact me here
info@makelovenotporn.com or at http://cindygallop.com.

"Porn" Among Top Search Terms for Kids 7 and Under

Joseph Campbell

2010-06-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

It is going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.

- Joseph Campbell

Dr. Oz on the G-Spot

2010-06-12T09:42:00.001-07:00

Dr. Oz explains the G-spot. What it feels like, where it's located, and what to do
with it once you find it.
Named after German gynecologist, Dr. Ernst Grafenberg who wrote about it in 1950.
When stimulated this little pleasure point is associated with deeper orgasms.
The male G-spot is the prostate gland, and is also associated with deeper orgasms for men.
Assorted toys are available for G-spot stimulation, and wikipedia has even given them their own page, here.

In Depth Interview of Power and Seduction Author, Robert Greene

2010-06-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little too naive, tangled with too many passive aggressive people?
In this enlightening 40 minute interview author Robert Greene explains the dynamics of power. Who uses it, how it's used, and how to recognize when it's being used to manipulate you.

Power Moves, in Writing and Life
How to Spot a Machiavelli
From Napoleon to Kim Jong-Il
Obama and the Art of Power
Power, Strategy, and the Workplace
The Power Struggle of Love
How to Seduce Anything
50 Cent, Fearlessness, and You
Tiger Woods’ God Complex

Robert Greenes's latest:

"The Descent of Power: An Interpretation of the Global Economic Crisis", available at

Robert Greene's blog

Robert Greene is the author of numerous volumes on power, strategy, war, and seduction, including the international bestseller "The 48 Laws of Power," "The Art of Seduction,"
"The 33 Strategies of War," and "The 50th Law," co-written with rapper 50 Cent.

This is not intended as a promotion of seducing or power tripping others. It is intended as a way to educate yourself to the seduction and power games others play, and learn to avoid those types of people. Life is too precious to waste on people who find it necessary to resort to Machiavellian manipulation to get what they want...

Jung on Love and Power

2010-05-30T19:26:00.001-07:00

Where love rules, there is no will to power;

and where power predominates, there love is lacking.

The one is the shadow of the other.

C.G. Jung

Creative minds 'mimic schizophrenia'

2010-05-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

BBC

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Creativity is akin to insanity, say scientists who have been studying how the mind works.

Brain scans reveal striking similarities in the thought pathways of highly creative people and those with schizophrenia.

Both groups lack important receptors used to filter and direct thought.

It could be this uninhibited processing that allows creative people to "think outside the box", say experts from Sweden's Karolinska Institute.

In some people, it leads to mental illness.

But rather than a clear division, experts suspect a continuum, with some people having psychotic traits but few negative symptoms......

Creativity is known to be associated with an increased risk of depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

The thalamus channels thoughts

Similarly, people who have mental illness in their family have a higher chance of being creative.

Associate Professor Fredrik Ullen believes his findings could help explain why.

He looked at the brain's dopamine (D2) receptor genes which experts believe govern divergent thought.

He found highly creative people who did well on tests of divergent thought had a lower than expected density of D2 receptors in the thalamus - as do people with schizophrenia.

The thalamus serves as a relay centre, filtering information before it reaches areas of the cortex, which is responsible, amongst other things, for cognition and reasoning.

"Fewer D2 receptors in the thalamus probably means a lower degree of signal filtering, and thus a higher flow of information from the thalamus," said Professor Ullen.

Creative people, like those with psychotic illnesses, tend to see the world differently to most. It's like looking at a shattered mirror

Mark MillardUK psychologist

He believes it is this barrage of uncensored information that ignites the creative spark.

This would explain how highly creative people manage to see unusual connections in problem-solving situations that other people miss.

................complete article at BBC

Karolinska Institute

Thinking Yourself to Orgasm | Barry Komisaruk | Big Think

2010-05-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

How is the brain related to female sexual response?

Notes on Love

2010-05-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

New York Times

Brain scan studies have shown that early romantic love generates a unique pattern of brain activity. Regions of the brain related to addiction and even mental illness light up on the scan when a person sees a photo of his or her beloved.....
There are reasons to think that culture and country influence how we love — or at least how we express it. For instance, in surveys, people from China typically describe romantic love “in much less positive terms,” notes Art Aron, a professor of psychology at Stony Brook who has conducted several love and brain scan studies.....

...more from Love on the Global Brain NYT

Romantic love can be more than heartbreaking, as Yeardley Love, 22, a lacrosse player who was slain three weeks ago by an ex-boyfriend, shows...and this is but one of dozens of recent examples of the risky side of romantic love. This is not to say that an arranged marriage, and/or using logic to guide our selection in a mate, is the answer, but it does seem safer than the romantic route.

Psychedelic Science and San Jose Conference

2010-04-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Will psychedelic science now be allowed to treat depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, alcoholism and anxiety?
From wnyc.org/

As with so much online content some of the most interesting and informative aspects are in the reader comment section. As of this posting New York Times article below had over 300 reader comments,

New York Times

Hallucinogens Have Doctors Tuning in Again

By
JOHN TIERNEY
April 11, 2010

As a retired clinical psychologist, Clark Martin was well acquainted with traditional treatments for depression, but his own case seemed untreatable as he struggled through chemotherapy and other grueling regimens for kidney cancer. Counseling seemed futile to him. So did the antidepressant pills he tried. Nothing had any lasting effect until, at the age of 65, he had his first psychedelic experience. He left his home in Vancouver, Wash., to take part in an experiment at Johns Hopkins medical school involving psilocybin, the psychoactive ingredient found in certain mushrooms. ........

After taking the hallucinogen, Dr. Martin put on an eye mask and headphones, and lay on a couch listening to classical music as he contemplated the universe.
“All of a sudden, everything familiar started evaporating,” he recalled. “Imagine you fall off a boat out in the open ocean, and you turn around, and the boat is gone. And then the water’s gone. And then you’re gone.”
Today, more than a year later, Dr. Martin credits that six-hour experience with helping him overcome his depression and profoundly transforming his relationships with his daughter and friends. He ranks it among the most meaningful events of his life, which makes him a fairly typical member of a growing club of experimental subjects.........
Scientists are especially intrigued by the similarities between hallucinogenic experiences and the life-changing revelations reported throughout history by religious mystics and those who meditate. ..........

Researchers from around the world are gathering this week in San Jose, Calif., for the largest conference on psychedelic science held in the United States in four decades. They plan to discuss studies of psilocybin and other psychedelics for treating depression in cancer patients, obsessive-compulsive disorder, end-of-life anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and addiction to drugs or alcohol.
.................
The work has been supported by nonprofit groups like the Heffter Research Institute and MAPS, the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies.
“There’s this coming together of science and spirituality,” said Rick Doblin, the executive director of MAPS. “We’re hoping that the mainstream and the psychedelic community can meet in the middle and avoid another culture war. Thanks to changes over the last 40 years in the social acceptance of the hospice movement and yoga and meditation, our culture is much more receptive now, and we’re showing that these drugs can provide benefits that current treatments can’t.”
Researchers are reporting preliminary success in using psilocybin to ease the anxiety of patients with terminal illnesses. Dr. Charles S. Grob, a psychiatrist who is involved in an experiment at U.C.L.A., describes it as “existential medicine” that helps dying people overcome fear, panic and depression.........complete article from the New York Times

Sites covering conference:
MAPS
http://psychedelicsalonquarterly.com/

More Reasons to Kiss

2010-04-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

Kiss more, and kiss longer. That's what some researchers are advising as the health benefits of kissing are revealed.

Matthew Messina, DDS, a dentist and consumer advisor for the American Dental Association, says the extra saliva produced during kissing washes bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque. Bryant Stamford, PhD, director of the health promotion center at the University of Louisville notes kissing can help you lose calories. "During a really, really passionate kiss," he says, "you might lose two calories a minute - double your metabolic rate." Others claim that kissing exercises the facial muscles.

Stress relief is another health benefit of kissing. Psychologist Joy Davidson, PhD, likens kissing to meditation. "It stops the buzz in your mind, it quells anxiety, and it heightens the experience of being present in the moment. It actually produces a lot of the physiological changes that meditation produces," she says. The fact that kissing leads to touching is also a good thing. Touching and massaging release oxytocin, a hormone known to have a calming effect on the body.

image: Le Baiser (the kiss)
Picasso
oil on canvas
1969

Religion Without Mysticism?

2010-03-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

Commonweal

Luke Timothy Johnson

Dry Bones: Why Religion Can't Live Without Mysticism

The great religious battle of our time is not the one being waged between believers and unbelievers. To be sure, that is an important and certainly a noisy conflict—never before have the voices of religion’s despisers been more numerous, loud, or confident than those of our proselytizing atheists today.

More significant even than that struggle, though, is the clash occurring within religious traditions. The battle within each of the three great monotheistic religions is between the exoteric and esoteric versions of each. .......more from Commonweal

Has Mysticism Become Bourgeois?

2010-03-08T14:02:00.000-08:00

New York Times: Op Ed

Mass Market Epiphany

By ROSS DOUTHAT

March 7, 2010

.....As society has become steadily more materialistic, Johnson (Luke Timothy Johnson, writing in the latest issue of the Catholic journal Commonweal Luke Timothy Johnson declares, our churches have followed suit, giving up on the ascetic and ecstatic aspects of religion and emphasizing only the more worldly expressions of faith. Conservative believers fixate on the culture wars, religious liberals preach social justice, and neither leaves room for what should be a central focus of religion — the quest for the numinous, the pursuit of the unnamable, the tremor of bliss and the dark night of the soul.....

Americans seem to have done with mysticism what we’ve done with every other kind of human experience: We’ve democratized it, diversified it, and taken it mass market. No previous society has offered seekers so many different ways to chase after nirvana, so many different paths to unity with God or Gaia or Whomever. A would-be mystic can attend a Pentecostal healing service one day and a class on Buddhism the next, dabble in Kabbalah in February and experiment with crystals in March, practice yoga every morning and spend weekends at an Eastern Orthodox retreat center. Sufi prayer techniques, Eucharistic adoration, peyote, tantric sex — name your preferred path to spiritual epiphany, and it’s probably on the table..............

This democratization has been in many ways a blessing. Our horizons have been broadened, our religious resources have expanded, and we’ve even recovered spiritual practices that seemed to have died out long ago. ........read more at New York Times

MK 6•23•1954-3•2•2010 : Muse • Starlight

2010-03-05T00:12:00.000-08:00

Ich liebe dichIch vermisse dich

New Discoveries About the Experience of Anger

2010-03-04T12:50:00.000-08:00

Know someone with a hair trigger temper? Do those bulging veins at his temples during his raging meltdown have any other consequences, besides making you want to run for cover? What are the potential problems of daily fits?

Angry people are by nature, out of control, and this is why they are obsessed with dominating, and controlling those around them. They are attempting to make up for their own lack of control by controlling others, and their environment. This also gives them the necessary 'excuses' to act out their rage, others will never meet the anger addicts level of perfection, and the anger addict then has a reason to rage. The anger addict is covering up his own bottomless well of fear, inadequacy and insecurity, he uses the mask of rage to hide his fear, and create fear in others. Anger addicts generally have limited self awareness, due to having created fear in those around them, no one dares confront them, and their control issues make accepting 'help' nearly impossible for them. Ultimately, the anger addict ends up alone, driving away anyone who cares, and using the caring persons departure as another excuse for rage. The anger addicts lack of self awareness, and need to blame others makes him forget that it was his own daily rage, that came BEFORE the departure, that caused others to abandon him. People who are angry a lot also tend to have other chronic negative emotions as well, including anxiety, depression, and paranoia

New discoveries about anger explain why the majority of our elderly population are of good nature, sweet and happy people....read on for information from wikipedia, Science Daily and webMD

In modern society, anger is viewed as an immature or uncivilized response... conditioning can cause inappropriate expressions of anger such as uncontrolled violent outbursts, misdirected anger ...more from wikipedia

Anger and hostility are significantly associated with both a higher risk for coronary heart disease (CHD) in healthy individuals and poorer outcomes in patients with existing heart disease, according to the first quantitative review and meta-analysis of related studies, which appears in the March 17, 2009, issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology......more from Science Daily

Younger people, those with children and less-educated individuals are more likely to experience anger, according to new UofT research. Professor Scott Schieman from the Sociology Department at the University of Toronto has published new findings about the experience of anger. In a chapter in the forthcoming International Handbook of Anger, to be released in January 2010, Schieman documents the basic social patterns and contexts of anger....more from Science Daily

Scientists speculate that anger may produce direct biological effects on the heart and arteries. Negative emotions, such as anger, quickly activate the "fight-or-flight response." They also trigger the "stress axis," Kubzansky says. "That's a slightly slower response, but it activates a cascade of neurochemicals that are all geared toward helping you in the short run if you're facing a crisis."....Anger may also disrupt the electrical impulses of the heart and provoke dangerous heart rhythm disturbances.

Other research suggests that stress hormones may lead to higher levels of C-reactive protein (CRP), a substance linked to atherosclerosis and future heart disease risk. In 2004, Duke University scientists who studied 127 healthy men and women found that those prone to anger, hostility, and depression had two to three times higher CRP levels than their more placid peers.

"CRP levels at this range are associated with inflammation that is likely to eventually increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke," ................more from WebMD

Image: Vajrapani

Alan Watts, What is Scholarship?

2010-03-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

"Do you know what Scholarship means? What a school means? The original meaning of a scholar?

Leisure.

Scholarship is to study everything that’s unimportant. Not necessary for survival. All the charming irrelevancies of life.

But you see the thing is this. If you don’t have a room in your life for the playful, life’s not worth living. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. But if the only reason for which Jack plays is that he can work better afterwards, he’s not really playing. He’s playing because it’s good for him. He’s not playing at all!

To be a true scholar you have to cultivate an attitude to life where you’re not trying to get anything out of it. You pick up a pebble on the beach and look at it. It’s beautiful. Don’t try to get a sermon out of it. Sermons and Stones and God and everything be damned. Just enjoy it.

Don’t feel that you’ve got to salve your conscience by saying that this is for the advancement of your aesthetic understanding. Enjoy the pebble. If you do that you’ll become healthy. You become able to be a loving helpful human being. But if you can’t do that, if you can only do things because somehow you're going to get something out of it, you’re a vulture."

Alan Watts, The Tao of Philosophy/ the Love of Wisdom Series

pub posthumously in 1995 by Alan's eldest son Mark Watts. book is available used in paperback for around $3.00

Thanks TE!

Chocolate and Chakras: American Yogis Foodie Debate

2010-02-24T03:35:00.000-08:00

New York Times

By JULIA MOSKIN

Published: January 26, 2010
.....Calling his mission “yoga for the Everyman,” Mr. Romanelli, 36, plays Grateful Dead songs during class, wears sweat pants rather than spandex, and has already experimented with offering chocolate truffles after chaturanga instruction. “It’s a way of getting people in the door,” he said in an interview. “The world is a better place if people do yoga. And if they come because chocolate or wine is involved, I’m fine with it.”
In 2007, a combination yoga studio and fine dining restaurant, Ubuntu, opened in Napa, Calif.
Yoga retreat centers now offer gourmet cooking classes and wine tastings; New York yogis trade tips about which nearby ashrams (Anand) and studios (Jivamukti) serve the best muffins.
But not everyone agrees that the lusty enjoyment of food and wine is compatible with yogic enlightenment. Yoga purists say that many foods — like wine and meat — are still off limits. Others, like Mr. Romanelli, say that anything goes, as long as it tastes good. ......
....Several prominent American yoga teachers like Ana Forrest and Bryan Kest have recently acknowledged eating meat. ....
..Eva Grubler, director of training at Dharma Yoga in New York, one of the most venerated yoga centers in the country.
“Ten years ago we would not even be having this conversation,” said Ms. Grubler, who added that a vegan diet was a given for her. “Yoga used to be much quieter, but now there are more people, they are more activated, and they are questioning everything.” She says that the true yogic path gradually and organically frees people of desire for meat, dairy, caffeine and alcohol.
“A pure yogic diet is one that is only calming: no garlic, onions or chili peppers, nothing heavy or oily,” said Ms. Grubler. “Steamed vegetables, salads and fresh juices are really the ideal..read more at New York Times: When Chakras and Chocolate Collide

Ana Forest : Forest Yoga
Ana is a well-known yoga teacher, and contributing expert to Yoga Journal and other national wellness publications.
Dharma Mitra Yoga, New York
Est 1974.
"With constant practice, one can improve his physical body and mental attitude rapidly, thereby igniting the higher motives of making ones self useful to him-self and all mankind." Dharma Mittra
IMAGE: Dharma Mittra
Exhale Yoga Spa
Yoga for Foodies : Jam Sessions
In 2010, Yoga + Chocolate and Yoga + Wine co-founder David Romanelli is excited to announce his new creation: “Jam Sessions: Yoga for Foodies.” From New York to New Orleans and LA to Dallas, David will collaborate with great chefs from around the nation to present a fresh take on food, sustainability, and those rare moments that are so perfect, you could, well, ah, have an orgasm.

Chocolate for Yogis: Alma Chocolate
alma (al ' ma)

1. n. - Soul (from the Spanish)
2. v. - To nourish (from the Latin)

Chocolate has long been associated with passion and love, and touted for its aphrodisiac and medicinal properties. Its Latin name, Theobroma, means “food of the Gods.”
image: Chocolate Chinese Buddha, available at Alma Chocolate. Order online or visit her shop and cafe :
140 NE 28th Ave. • Portland, Oregon 97232 • (503) 517-0262

Tune Time: Sometime Around Midnight

2010-02-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

Feb 14, 2010, The Lunar New Year of the White Tiger

2010-02-11T23:46:00.000-08:00

Losar, Tibetan Lunar New Year,

and Chinese Lunar New Year begin on the new moon, and are joyous, 15 day celebrations of happiness, good fortune, and a time to make offerings and prayers to your favorite temple or holy place, as well as participating in festive family reunions. Preparation for the new year involves cleaning the home with special attention on the kitchen, insuring we have no outstanding debts, decorating with Plum blossoms, water narcissus (or other fresh flowers), displaying auspicious symbols, and most importantly, letting go of the past. During the 2 week period, gentleness, kind words, and peace should prevail, this will insure the same throughout the year. The Lantern Festival on the 15th day welcomes the first full moon of the year with Dragon and Lion dances, and is the most celebratory day of the 15.

Family and friends come together sharing gifts, company, and indulging in foods delicious, and highly symbolic. Noodles symbolize longevity (but don't cut them!), oranges symbolize wealth, tangerines are for luck, and a chinese new year menu is not complete without a whole fish, symbolizing family unity, abundance and prosperity.

On February 14, 2010 the Chinese, and Tibetan New Year exit the slow moving Year of Earth Ox, and welcome the Year of White, Iron Tiger. The 14th of February is auspicious, and celebrated here in the West as Saint Valentines day, and originally the very wild, ancient Roman holiday, Lupercalia.

Saint Valentine's influence encourages us to focus on a peaceful, forgiving heart, and let fierce compassion, and a brave and intelligent love guide us in 2010. Tiger years, the last one was 1999, are known for drama, passion, spontaneous experiences, intensity, sudden surprise, unexpected events, rapid change, travel, and overall excitement.

This also marks the sixty year return of the Iron Tiger year 1950, the year the Korean war began, and the year China began its "peaceful liberation" of Tibet, aka, invasion. Iron armors and hardens the Tiger, making these years notorious for disaster, surprise attacks, turmoil, wars and conflict, and can see ruthlessness on outer, inner, and secret levels. Loss of temper, and the destructive qualities of anger are multiplied, and are particularly dangerous, and potentially devastating in Iron Tiger years, both for individuals, and groups or Countries as a whole, who succumb to the sudden, and seductive forces of anger...

Dalai Lama on Peace, compassion and Happiness...

Om mani padme hum Om mani padme hum Om mani padme hum Om mani padme hum Om mani padme hum Om mani padme hum Om mani padme hum

image 1: Taktshang (Tiger's Nest) Monastery in Bhutan

thank you moon rat!

image 2: Los Angeles Shambhala Center

Vajrayana is Jung at Heart

2010-02-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

The gods have become our diseases

C.G. Jung

The 'gods' Jung is referring to are the self generated deities of our own psyche.
The wolf moon is an auspicious time to seek out shadow, and the archetypes we embody and project. Jung's archetypes are related to the deities of tantra, Vajrayana, these deities, like archetypes, are not physical or heavenly beings, but aspects of ourselves. Understanding these subtle, and not so subtle energies that we create, and we are creating them, (we are the creator-not the other way around)is the one of the first steps to self awareness....

Sting on Tantra

2010-01-28T15:59:00.000-08:00

"People get very silly about the whole idea of what Tantra is. It's using your normal life as a devotional practice. Breathing, walking, eating, making love. . . it's all the same. Practice consciously. Music is my Tantra. It's my way of saying thank you to. . . whatever."

- Sting
image: This is London

Great 'Guy' Gift : Manspaces

2009-11-25T12:07:00.001-08:00

Sam Martin : Manspaces
A Primal Guide to Marking Your Territory

Fab site!
Manspaces.com

From the book:
You know you need your space, but what’s the answer? Manspace! It’s the shot in the arm, the rallying cry, the inspiration for guys like you to take back a little piece of territory, to have some space where you don’t have to change shirts or pick up after yourself. With more than 50 great guy places like recording studios, drinking sheds, workshops, and general all-around hangouts, Manspace shows you what and it shows you how.....

Shambhala Events

2009-11-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

SNEAK PREVIEW – Fundraiser for CRAZY WISDOM
Nov 21 / 7:30 PM - Nov 21 / 10:00 PM
Johanna Demetrakas will screen her film, "CRAZY WISDOM: the life and times of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche," for the Los Angeles Shambhala sangha and general public.

Work, Sex, Money and the Spiritual Path in L.A. -- a Public Talk at our Westside Center
Nov 22 / 5:00 PM - Nov 22 / 6:00 PM
Our Western culture has many preconceived notions of what is and is not "spiritual." Many times we follow a spiritual path in order to "escape" from the "earthy" realities of our lives.
more info

I Tarantati

2009-11-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

Trance Dance Italian style....
....amazing what a teensy little spider can make you do ;)

Home Sweet Home

2009-11-06T12:13:00.000-08:00

Retreat is complete, and much to catch up on!

What is Trance Dance?

2009-11-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

2009-10-20T20:31:00.001-07:00

Dakini Retreat

2009-08-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

Florence, Oregon

Even a dakini needs to retreat, recharge and restore, that's why we have summer

Florence is amazing, but the dsl is less than fab

Jung Monday

2009-07-27T10:42:00.001-07:00

The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.

The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.

We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

-JUNG

Betty Dodson Illuminates and Illustrates the Yoni

2009-07-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

Betty Dodson & Carlin Rose.com

Vishuddha Chakra

2009-07-16T01:10:00.000-07:00

Monday Mantra: Let Go

2009-07-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

LET GO

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."
-Joseph Campbell

8 Secrets to Great Sex

2009-07-07T14:27:00.000-07:00

The secret to great sex? It's not technique
CTV News
Mon. Jul. 6 2009

Great sex isn't about technique or buff bodies.
Intense physical sensation, orgasm, lust and chemistry also don't have much to do with it.
Instead, a new study, says great sex is more about connection and focus.
Sex therapist and University of Ottawa psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz,
the lead author of the report, interviewed three groups who reported that they had "great sex." .
....The study found that great sex involves the following eight components:

• Being present
• Connection
• Deep sexual and erotic intimacy
• Extraordinary communication
• Interpersonal risk taking and exploration
• Authenticity
• Vulnerability
• Transcendence

Of all the components, "being present, focused and embodied" was cited the most by participants. ......more from CTV
Peggy J. Kleinplatz is a Canadian psychologist and sexologist known for her work critical of the medicalization of human sexuality.
Kleinplatz graduated from University of Ottawa with a B.A. (Honours) in Psychology in 1981 and Ph.D. in 1987.
She has served as Associate Professor of Medicine and Clinical Professor of Psychology at the University of Ottawa[2] and is an Adjunct Research Professor at Carleton University.
* Kleinplatz PJ, ed. (2001). New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives. Psychology Press, ISBN 9780876309674
* Moser C, Kleinplatz PJ (2006). Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures. Routledge, ISBN 9781560236399

Tantric systems and practice develop, refine and repair these key components of great sex, and authentic connection.
One of the potential, and commonly mentioned side effects of excessive Solo porn consumption is the reduced ability or inability to connect emotionally with a partner, and over time, a diminished sexual arousal regardless of type or intensity of stimulation.
A delicious mix of feel good, and bonding chemicals are released in the brain during arousal, and a flood at the point of orgasm, creating a perfect moment to connect and bond with your lover, or the image on a computer screen. Oddly enough, if it's the computer, please know you are not really 'connecting' with Savannah Samson, Dick d'Bone etc...but you are reinforcing and strengthening the necessity of a computer image to feel aroused.

A real, flawed human will feel you mentally leave for your porn place.
While you are mentally conjuring up Dick or Savannah to keep your arousal up, you are absent, self absorbed and ignorant of the person you are with..How can you connect and tune into the person you're with and what is turning them on, the markers of a great lover, if your head is somewhere else?

On the other hand, if you have a partner that doesn't mind and you are happy with sex at that level, that's great!

Porn consumption alone, or with your partner now and then can be a fun, revealing, intimate experience that spices up the sex and strengthens the bond and connection between you.
Porn is no different than sugar, a little goes a long way, and if you become dependent on it your health will suffer, and your relationships will suffer, being overweight, and inching towards diabetes does not make for the best sex partners...

it's all about being mindful, do what you will, but be conscious of what you are doing, and what it's doing to you.
In moments of arousal we are training our brain, creating our own Pavlovian response to future stimuli, it's very simple and highly effective.

.....Great sex comes from being present, focused and embodied.

Monday Mantra

2009-07-06T01:32:00.000-07:00

That's Life
a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king
and each time I find myself flat on my face, I pick myself up
and get back in the race...
-F. Sinatra

I Tarantati

2009-07-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

I Tarantati, healing dance of the tarantella. Aligns with sufi mystics,native American shamans ...
gives trance dance a whole new meaning, Goa's got nothing on this...

Hafiz on Fear

2009-07-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

"Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions."
- Hafiz

Monday Mantra: No

2009-06-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

Vikram Madan on Jung and Enlightenment

2009-06-29T14:53:00.000-07:00

Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious.”
-Jung

"What I like about Jung's definition is -- it is integrative in nature. Is not trying to reject darkness.

Eckhart Tolle's definition of enlightenment : "Restoration of Sanity".

Buddha's definition (or so it is claimed) : "No Suffering/End of Suffering".

The point at which the full and final collapse of the false-i/ego occurs, delusion ends, and the continuous, beyond-doubt direct experience of the connection with the deepest (shunya) level of life occurs.

Tolle talks of a waxing and waning joy, that has never left him, ever since he found enlightenment. The peace never goes. The joy waxes and wanes. Sadness is also felt by him, when he sees some kind of a serious tragedy somewhere.

He also talks of the end of boredom, loneliness, restlessness, and all such things that make us common-ly human. Tolle can be stuck in traffic or stand in a long que, and not lose his cool.

He also says that the sights and sounds of the world around him became more lucid, and lost their irritating, disturbing flavour, after he found enlightenment.

But the biggest thing --- is the appreciation of the difference between "LIFE" and "life-situation".

The enlightened person can appreciate the difference and know that the difference is not subjective, ambiguous, debatable.

ie. it points to some kind of a multi dimensional existence in which --- one is continuously aware that this is the realm of maya (via continuous direct experience) *YET* functioning as if it is *NOT* maya. And this mode of existence is *NOT* confusing and uncomfortable.

And I'll stop here, before I end up slipping deeper into...as you would have guessed by now...advaita vedanta "
-Vikram Madan

Jung on Enlightenment

2009-06-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious.”
-Jung

Elizabeth Gilbert on Marriage: Eat, Pray, Make Love

2009-06-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

Eat, Pray, Make Love
Time Magazines 'one of the most influential people of 2008', Elizabeth Gilbert,
author of Eat, Pray, Love, asks us to consider the demands and expectations of contemporary marriage,
are we asking for too much in our relationships?
Could the high failure rate in marriage be related to the burden of out of scale expectations we
place on a 'love' relationship?
Elizabeth is 5yrs into a second marriage, she describes it as complex, but much richer than the romantic beginning she ends her book with.
Self admitted owner of a hungry, passionate heart, Elizabeth gives authentic insight for those of us with a passionate, and wildly curious nature.
Helen Fisher would most likely type Elizabeth as a Negotiator/Explorer.

Does anyone else see the Cameron Diaz resemblance? even her laugh is very Cameron!
Note to Elizabeth: Help the economy, give Cameron Diaz a job with 'Eat, Pray, Love', the movie....

Full interview with Big Think

Elizabeth Gilbert on Creativity and Genius at TED Talks
Is creativity something only a few have? What is the difference between being a 'genius', and having one? What if we realized we all have a genius, daemon, a muse just waiting for us to show up? And how do we relate to it without losing our mind? Who is your divine genius?

Elizabeth Gilbert.com

Authors @Google : Elizabeth Gilbert

“wise, jaunty, human, ethereal, heartbreaking.”
-Anne Lamott on Eat, Pray, Love

The Dangerous Friend

2009-06-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

The ecstatic, wild, and gentle figure who short-circuits your systems of self-referencing.
The only person in your life who cannot be manipulated.
The invasion of unpredictability you allow into your life, to enable you to cut through the convolutions of interminable psychological and emotional processes.
The terrifyingly compassionate gamester who re-shuffles the deck
of your carefully arranged rationale.

-Trungpa Rinpocha

Art: my dakini
3'x5' oil on canvas

Porn Predictions with Bob Guccione, Jr.

2009-06-25T10:51:00.000-07:00

"....Porn is so unbelievably boring, it is such a drag to be sent a link of two people eating each other..
.I think it's going to become more artistic, sensual, erotic and intellectual...."

Yahel & Eyal Barkan,

2009-06-24T16:37:00.001-07:00

Nitzhonot, a yummy blend of Goa and uplifting trance tunes....

Steve Jobs and Manipura Dakini, Yantra and Mantra

2009-06-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking.
Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition,
they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
– Steve Jobs

This is the purpose of the third chakra, listen to your gut, listen to Manipura

Manipura Mantra: RAM

Each chakra has its own dakini and mantra.

Manipura Yantra: 17"x24, colored pencil on Black Strathmore paper
Manipura Dakini: 3'x5' oil on canvas
art: mydakini

Mary Roach on Freud and the Importance of Masturbation

2009-06-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Freud believed the sexual satisfaction from clitoral stimulation was childish, it was something to be outgrown in favor of being passive and receptive.
btw: Clitorectomy was performed in the US during the late 1850's through the 1860's.
One of the sure signs of a witch during the great witch hunts of the 1400's-1700's, was orgasm, if a woman was orgasmic she could be burned as a witch, as well as her daughters. .....and we wonder why 40-60% of women are non orgasmic or have difficulty achieving orgasm.
Use it or Lose it? Can masturbation help women with arousal difficulty? Is this a way to bypass some of the dampening effects of antidepressants on libido? yes!

Mary Roach on NPR
In a conversation with Robert Siegel, Mary Roach explores the state and the history of research into human sexuality in her new book, Bonk.
"..."The 1920s were almost like the '60s in a way — and then we swung back to a more conservative era....."....more from NPR

MaryRoach.com

Monday Mantra: Yes

2009-06-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yes

Sandra Tsing Loh on Marriage

2009-06-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The Atlantic
Sandra Tsing Loh
“..........................When marriage was invented,” Ellen continues, “it was considered to be a kind of trade union for a woman, her protection against the sexually wandering male. But what’s happened to the sexually wandering male?”

In our parents’ era, the guy hit 45, got the toupee, drove the red Porsche, and left his family for the young, hot secretary. We are unable to imagine any of the husbands driving anything with fewer than five seat belts.

“Ron only goes as far as the den,” Ellen says. “He has his Internet porn bookmarked on the computer.”

“Ian has his Cook’s Illustrated,” Rachel adds. “And his—his men’s online fennel club.”

.........it’s clear that females are dissatisfied—more and more, divorce seems to be initiated by women. If marriage is the Old World and what lies beyond is the New World, it’s the apparently stable men (comfortable alone in their postfeminist den with their Cook’s Illustrated and their porn) who are Old Worlders, and the Girls’ Night Out, questionnaire-completing women who are the questing New Worlders. They most embody what Tocqueville described as America’s “restless temper,” or l’inquiétude du caractère. (Interestingly, according to EnlightenNext magazine, some northern European women are reportedly eschewing their progressive northern European male counterparts and dating Muslims, who are more like “real men.”)......

...............So, herewith, some modest proposals. Clearly, research shows that what’s best for children is domestic stability and not having to bond with, and to be left by, ever new stepparent figures. Less important is whether or not their overworked parents are logging “date night” (or feeling the magic). So why don’t we accept marriage as a splitting-the-mortgage arrangement? As Fisher suggests, rekindling the romance is, for many of us, biologically unnatural, particularly after the kids come. (Says another friend of mine, about his wife of 23 years: “My heart doesn’t lift when she walks in the room. It sinks, slightly.”) If high-revving women are sexually frustrated, let them have some sort of French arrangement where they have two men, the post-feminist model dad building shelves, cooking bouillabaisse, and ignoring them in the home, and the occasional fun-loving boyfriend the kids never see. Alternately, if both spouses find life already rather exhausting, never mind chasing around for sex. Long-married husbands and wives should pleasantly agree to be friends, to set the bedroom aglow at night by the mute opening of separate laptops and just be done with it. More than anything, aside from providing insulation from the world at large, that kind of arrangement could be the perfect way to be left alone.

As far as the children are concerned, how about the tribal approach (a natural, according to both primate and human evolution)? Let children between the ages of 1 and 5 be raised in a household of mothers and their female kin. Let the men/husbands/boyfriends come in once or twice a week to build shelves, prepare that bouillabaisse, or provide sex.....".........more from Sandra at the Atlantic

Sandra, as a new Save Singlehood devotee, brings humor, respect and truth to the perfect boomer marriage, and divorce...as well as generating controversy and a fair bit of outrage with her 'cool' attitude towards her divorce, but that's why we luv her! We must remember she is a humorist going through a divorce, it's her job to make us laugh. And though she seems to be handling it with a casual wit, I would also suggest she has had her share of time curled up in the fetal position, crying over all of it.

"Marriage remains the most efficient engine of disenchantment yet invented. There is nothing like uninterrupted cohabitation and grinding responsibility to cast a clear, unforgiving light on the object of desire."
-Caitlin Flanagan
contributing editor of The Atlantic.

Sandra with Bill Maher, 2001

Manipura, Trust Your Gut

2009-06-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

Manipura is the chakra located near your navel, this is the chakra of will, power, intuition and transformation.

Los Angeles Tantra Coach

One Tantra Member, Xen

2009-06-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

new online tantra community

OneTantra.com

Heather Graham on Tantric Practice

2009-06-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

"You haven't lived until you've tried tantric sexual healing.
I first got into it when I was filming The Guru in 2002 and I haven't looked back. What most people know about tantric sex is that Sting does it and it lasts eight hours. But he's not having sex continually. You can take a bath, massage your partner, listen to music. The idea is that you let the whole thing build very slowly until finally you merge with your partner. It works for me!....." -Heather Graham.....more from Huffington Post .....for full interview from UK Daily Mail

Los Angeles Tantra Coach

Monday Mantra:

2009-06-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

Tat Tvam Asi

Thou art That!

Chandogya Upanishad

The Hookup, Mate Without the Date?

2009-06-08T12:46:00.000-07:00

NPR
For the many who are delaying the responsibilities of marriage and child-rearing, hooking up has virtually replaced dating.

It is a major shift in the culture over the past few decades, says Kathleen Bogle, a professor of sociology and criminal justice at La Salle University.

Young people during one of the most sexually active periods of their lives aren't necessarily looking for a mate. What used to be a mate-seeking ritual has shifted to hookups: sexual encounters with no strings attached.

"The idea used to be you are going to date someone that is going to lead to something sexual happening," Bogle says. "In the hookup era, something sexual happens, even though it may be less than sexual intercourse, that may or may not ever lead to dating.".......more from NPR

Los Angeles Tantra Coach

Is There a Moral Limit on Multiple Orgasms?

2009-06-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

MD's fave sexpert, the brutally honest, and very funny Dan Savage, on women and multiple orgasms
Is it fair for her to have 8 orgasms to your one?

Why Do We Choose the Wrong People in Relationships?

2009-06-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

Reid tells us the bottom line about relationships.
Look for him... at OneTantra.com.

Dr. Helen Fisher's, 'Why him, Why Her?' Quiz

2009-06-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

The longest and most lasting marriages are between builders, and after reading what the 'Builder' personality type is, it makes total sense. Builders are exactly what the name suggests, they build, they are traditional and play by the rules, and they are the most common type, comprising 40% of the population, and Explorers are the rarest type at 8%.

HelenFisher.com.....Helen Fisher, PhD, says you can predict a couple's chances of happiness based on which of four personality types they fit into....." Since antiquity, poets, philosophers, and physicians have classified people into four styles of temperament. For Plato, they were the Artisan, Guardian, Idealist, and Rational. I have come to call them the Explorer, Builder, Negotiator, and Director. Each basic type, I suspect, is associated with a distinct cluster of genes—along with the expression of certain brain chemicals and a unique collection of personality traits....People who express dopamine — I call them Explorers — tend to be risk-taking, curious, creative, impulsive, optimistic and energetic. The traits associated with the serotonin system express themselves in what I call Builders. They're cautious but not fearful, calm, traditional, community-oriented, persistent and loyal. Directors have traits associated with activity in the testosterone system. These people tend to be very analytical, decisive, tough-minded; they like to debate and can be aggressive. The fourth type is the Negotiator. Men or women who express activity in the estrogen system tend to be broadminded imaginative, compassionate, intuitive, verbal, nurturing, altruistic and idealistic."

Sample of test results, and I must admit this is a shockingly accurate description of my dakini.
Take Helen Fisher's test at Why Him Why Her.com

My dakini..., you are a

Negotiator/Explorer

You see the big picture. You easily take the broad, long view of almost any topic. You are comfortable juggling myriad facts. You tend to synthesize material easily and think in webs of factors, not straight lines. You are imaginative and enjoy ideas.
You are also socially savvy. You are good at both talking and listening. And you generally read people's faces, body postures and tone of voice accurately, so you often intuitively understand what people want and need.
You are also highly compassionate. You care deeply about others. So you are inclined to make personal sacrifices to be a supportive friend and colleague. And you are idealistic and altruistic; you like to work to improve the world.
And you have an adventurous side; you enjoy new ideas and novel experiences and you want to share these with an enthusiastic partner. But you are particularly fond of people who are direct, decisive, focused and tough-minded, people who complement your more flexible, agreeable and affable style.

Negotiator
Sees the big picture, Imaginative, Intuitive, Verbal skills, Empathetic, Trusting, Introspective.
As the name suggests, this type is superb at handling people. Negotiators instinctively know what others are thinking and feeling. They artfully read facial expressions, postures, gestures, and tone of voice. Their interest in identity extends not only to others but to themselves. So they are introspective and self-analytical—men and women who take pleasure in journeying into their thoughts and motives. As a result, when they form a partnership, they like to delve deeply into the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship.
Not only do Negotiators connect psychologically, they also have the ability to remain mentally flexible. When they make decisions, they weigh many variables and consider various ways to proceed; they see things contextually, rather than linearly—I call it web thinking. As a result, they tend to be comfortable with ambiguity. Negotiators can be highly intuitive and creative. And they like to theorize. Perhaps their most distinctive characteristic is verbal fluency, the facility for finding the right words rapidly. With this skill—alongside an agreeable and accommodating nature, compassion, social savvy, and patience—the Negotiator can be very friendly, diplomatic, and authentic.
Explorer
Novelty seeking, Impulsive and spontaneous, Curious, Creative, Flexible, Open-minded, Energetic.
The Explorer
Explorers have a very active dopamine system, a brain chemical associated with the tendency to seek novelty, among other qualities. An Explorer might look up from the newspaper on Sunday and say, "Want to go to Warsaw?"—and by Wednesday you're in Poland. Champions of "never a dull moment," these adventurers live to discover new people, places, things, or ideas, often on the spur of the moment. Friends, family, and colleagues frequently regard them as highly independent and autonomous.
Explorers have more energy than most people; they tend to be restless, sometimes fast-paced. And they are highly curious—"For always roaming with a hungry heart," as Tennyson put it. Constantly generating new ideas or creative insights, they easily shift their attention from one thing to another. Although the classic Explorer is a race-car driver, South Pole trekker, or bad-boy rocker who lives hard, taking drugs and having risky sex, I know many who exercise their passion for adventure by reading several hours a day; collecting stamps, coins, or antiques; or walking through the byways of a city.
People quickly like most Explorers. Generous and sunny, they tend to be playful, sensual, sometimes hedonistic, often unpredictable, and regularly amusing. But they can be difficult to take—especially in a marriage. They do not tolerate boredom well. So they are generally not interested in routine social or business events. In fact, Explorers try to avoid routine of almost any kind, and can trample on another person's cherished beliefs and habits—not to mention be impatient.

Relationships/Love

As a Negotiator, you seek a spiritual, life long connection to a "true love". But you don't want someone who is emotionally dependent. You admire people who need a good deal of autonomy. Marriage is important to you; but the social pledge of matrimony is far less sacred than the personal commitment you privately make to your beloved. You avoid conflict and strive for harmony in your primary relationship. So you express your love regularly-with hugs, thoughtful presents, romantic weekends or by creating other special times together. And you want a mate who is daring, playful and adventurous, yet one who will balance you-someone who is calm, decisive, strong-willed, focused and supportive of your enthusiastic, caring and imaginative spirit.

Relating to Others

You dislike conflict. You seek "win-win" solutions. You are good at sharing power and ideas. And you are a master at the art of intimacy-building deep and exciting relationships with others. Nevertheless, you often enjoy solitude or intense interactions with just one individual or a few close friends. And you particularly enjoy people who like to play with abstract theories and ideas, provide insights, search for symbolic meanings in life and relationships and have a broad interest in the world.

Things to Be Aware of
When you feel betrayed you can be unforgiving and hold a grudge too long.

Spark Factor

You tend to naturally gravitate to DIRECTOR/EXPLRORER

Famous Negotiators
Leo Tolstoy, Mohandas Gandhi, Charles Darwin, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Clinton

Monday Mantra

2009-06-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

Det kunne være værre

It could be worse

According to international happiness surveys of the last 30 years,
Denmark is home to the happiest people on the planet.
The classic American response to, "how are you?"
is all too often, 'Excellent!' 'Great!'
Ask the same question of a Dane, and you will most likely hear,
“Det kunne være værre....... It could be worse.”

This attitude and outlook is not pessimistic, but merely realistic.

72 Year Harvard Study on Happiness

2009-06-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

Loving is the most important contributor to happiness.
Happiness is love. Full stop

-Dr. George Vaillant

the Atlantic
June 2009
Joshua Wolf Shenk

Dr. George Vaillant, director of a 72-year Harvard study on aging, explains what makes people strive
for fame and why dirty laundry symbolizes a perfect life

Is there a formula—some mix of love, work, and psychological adaptation—for a good life? For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age. Here, for the first time, a journalist gains access to the archive of one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history. Its contents, as much literature as science, offer profound insight into the human condition—and into the brilliant, complex mind of the study’s longtime director, George Vaillant.

More than 80 percent of the Grant Study men served in World War II, a fact that allowed Vaillant to study the effect of combat. The men who survived heavy fighting developed more chronic physical illnesses and died sooner than those who saw little or no combat, he found. And “severity of trauma is the best predictor of who is likely to develop PTSD.” (This may sound obvious, but it countered the claim that post-traumatic stress disorder was just the manifestation of preexisting troubles.)

“It is social aptitude,” he writes, “not intellectual brilliance or parental social class, that leads to successful aging.” Warm connections are necessary—and if not found in a mother or father, they can come from siblings, uncles, friends, mentors. The men’s relationships at age 47, he found, predicted late-life adjustment better than any other variable, except defenses. Good sibling relationships seem especially powerful: 93 percent of the men who were thriving at age 65 had been close to a brother or sister when younger. In an interview in the March 2008 newsletter to the Grant Study subjects, Vaillant was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response: “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”

Positive emotions make us more vulnerable than negative ones. One reason is that they’re future-oriented. Fear and sadness have immediate payoffs—protecting us from attack or attracting resources at times of distress. Gratitude and joy, over time, will yield better health and deeper connections—but in the short term actually put us at risk. That’s because, while negative emotions tend to be insulating, positive emotions expose us to the common elements of rejection and heartbreak..........more from the Atlantic

Harvard Gazette
William J. Cromie 2001
How to be happy and well rather than sad and sick

Dr. George Vaillant and his colleagues at Harvard University Health Services teased out seven predictors, which are at least partly under personal control, and, if adhered to before age 50, can lead to good physical and mental health at ages 70, 80, and older.
Some of them are old news, things like quitting smoking, exercising regularly, and not abusing alcohol. Others turn out to be surprises. For example, education trumps money and social prestige as a route to health and happiness......

Life ain't easy," Vaillant points out. "Terrible things happen to everyone. You have to keep your sense of humor, give something of yourself to others, make friends who are younger than you, learn new things, and have fun."
Immature defenses, on the other hand, produce sad results. Don't blame others for your problems, or deny that you have problems. Having imaginary rather than real friends causes more problems than it solves. So does distracting yourself by sipping scotch and watching television. ...
With hard work and/or therapy, our relationships with our spouses and our coping styles can be changed for the better. A successful old age may lie not so much in our stars and genes as in ourselves." ....more

NPR
Talk of the Nation
June 1, 2009
What Makes Us Happy?

Journalist Joshua Wolf Shenk gained access to one of the most comprehensive studies conducted to find the formula for happiness. "What Makes Us Happy?" is his essay in the June issue of The Atlantic. Shenk, along with Todd Kashdan, professor of psychology and author of Curious: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life, explore what makes us happy.

Happiness is a result of warm, caring, quality relationships. ...and relationships are hard, ones ability to cope, tolerate, and skilled conflict resolution are the key to fulfilling relationships......................listen to full 30 minute interview

JK

Female Ejaculation: A Beginner's Guide

2009-05-28T13:08:00.000-07:00

New Scientist

May28, 2009

Sharon Moalem

.........Although still controversial, many scientists now accept that some women can ejaculate some kind of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm. Just how common it is, what the fluid is, and whether it serves any kind of function are some of the most hotly debated questions of sex research today, and I am playing a small part in helping to investigate them.

Many historical texts, such as the Kama Sutra, spoke about female "semen", as did writers, including the Greek physician Hippocrates. Sometimes the writers may have been referring to everyday vaginal secretions, which increase during sexual arousal. However, there are several references to something more akin to ejaculation. In the 17th century, the Dutch physician and anatomist Regnier De Graaf spoke of "liquid as usually comes from the pudenda in one gush"......................................more from New Scientist

New Scientist is making no promises, but for women who would like this experience, here are some tips from US sex educator Deborah Sundahl.

Start with whatever techniques are normally best for arousal, for example stimulating the clitoris.
Next move on to the female prostate, or the G spot – it's probably the same thing. If the woman is lying on her back, this is directly above the uppermost wall of the vagina, or nearest to her tummy. This area should be stimulated with one or two fingers making a "come here" motion.
It is normal if the woman feels like she needs to urinate, as the prostate tissue surrounds the urethra, the tube through which urine leaves the bladder. She should ignore it and keep going.
With time and practice, a woman may experience orgasm and ejaculate.

Sharon Moalem is an evolutionary biologist and neurogeneticist at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City.
His book, How Sex Works, was published this month in the US by HarperCollins

ART: Klimt, Danae